Lost

har raat do baje mujhe aate aise thoughts kyu? kyu life bani nightmare hua usme caught kyu? dard jitna v hai unhe panno me baha ke sochu milega chhutkara fir v rhta hu exhaust kyu? lost hu par kisi ko nhi farak padta - fact hai... aur pare v kyu bhai, unki khud ki life packed hai! sunne wale bole "zara gane v to daal" kaise drop karu track jab life hi nhi track pe! kafi kuch chhipa ke rakha hua smile me stories se pata na chale kya chal rha mind me tha sab pe hi shak ki ye dhokha denge line se aur ab dete v wo daga jo the pahle speed dial me i'm just lost in between, & i don't know what to feel, one the surface i'm fine, inner don't know how to deal, with the pain in my heart & the smoke in my lungs, life's becoming explicit & i'm turning numb! kaisi bani life meri - mai khud ko nochta hu doosro ke galti me v mai khud ko kosta hu naate sabse tod lu, kabhi-kabhi sochta par bache kitne hi log jinhe mai apna dost kahu! kalaa meri jo hai wo jalti hai kaafi... kalaa meri jo hai mere dosto ko kha gayi... kalaa chahe na mai paas apne sau tan bithaun... kalaa chahe maru kalla mai par sautan na laau! such a waste of achievement, each and every single day breaks me into pieces, mai chaknachur ho gya. bure karam kie to fir karma mere sath tha... achche karmo ke waqt mera karma kaha so gya! meri sanse mujhse khafa lagti hai... wo marz hi hai mera fir v dawa lagti hai... mujhe maa ki v dua ab na lagti hai... meri haalat mera naam ab bayaa karti hai... ye koi kissa nahi hai, yahi hai meri zindagi mai ro deta hu soch ke kyu apno ko kadar nhi. aur jo har baat me dete mera sath... mujhe kadar hi nhi unki, god... what's happening! mai chahta hu rishte nibhana, par shayad se hasil ye zeenat nhi... mai door ke taaro ki karta tamanna, jo paas hai uski ahmiyat nhi... na mai bana achcha dost, na mai achcha bhai bana, na achcha pyar banne ka mauka mila, akhiri me achcha ek insan hi tha banna... par paap itne kiye sala wo v na rha! kafi waqt baad mujhe hua realise yahi ki gaano me expressive, par real life nhi, udhaar leke chipkau face pe smile... kyuki gham ke lage hai yaha emi bhai! mai para rhu bed pe aur dekhu bas chhat ko, intazaar karta ki subah meri kab ho, neend hi nhi aati warna karta mai pray... ki agle subah meri ankhe na khule! par rabb meri sune kyu hi mai to thehra nastik, khatam hi nhi hota sala dard hai ya plastic, dost soche aaya kaise change aisa drastic, fucking life is a bitch, & i'm not being sarcastic! hua 19 ka ab, to yaad aati kal ki... bachpan ka wo mujhe jhoola v yaad hai, last baar jhoolu, mujhe rassi do koi... pankhe pe wo daal ke mai khatam karu sanse!